Friday, February 18, 2011

a resounding introduction

I am quiet and calm, though I’m sometimes afflicted with bouts of insanity.  I am sarcastic, a talent I’ve been able to perfect.  There are times when I can barely remember the previous day, and other times when every minute detail has been seared into my corneas.  I love my parents and talk with them often, at times begging them to let me once again move back home to stay in their protective arms forever.  I am the therapist and psychologist to my siblings, the one they turn to when they’re too afraid to talk with anyone else.  I’m the keeper of secrets and I keep them well, even if some of those secrets are like tiny barbs, causing pain when remembered and spoken aloud.  I’ve often heard people describe me as Gothic, Emo, Punk, and Rock.  I remember a time when everything around me was black and the only way for me to cope was to retreat inside of myself.  Outwardly, it presented itself in the form of a more modern Gothic apparel.  I love to wear black lipstick.  I will often have solo dance parties as I clean my home.  I’m passionate and terrified of passions.  I love being alone, yet being alone frightens me more than I can express.  I live for music, feeling it burble inside of me on a daily basis.  I have many fond memories of singing in choirs growing up and singing duets with my father.  He has a beautiful voice that can move even the hardest man to tears.  He sings the song O Holy Night with the voice of an angel.  I yearn to be accepted and strive to be unique and separate from those around me.  I’m an actress, covering emotions and playing the roles expected of me with the air of a professional.  I am me.